WOW. 2018 --What. A. Year.This year held captive to some of my most notable experiences, along with some of my worst. As an optimist, I typically always (key word typically) have "good" days! Not every day is great, but there's something good in each day. This year tried to steal that zeal from me. I truly believe the enemy tried to break me this year- and let me tell ya..he got damn close.
I fell on my knees more this year than ever before; but it was when I was down on my knees that I repeatedly gave it all to God. I needed His strength to get back on my feet. I needed His wisdom to shift my mindset from failure to perseverance, from weak to strong and from broken to whole. And I needed His grace to renew me daily, restore my heart, and equip me with what I needed to keep moving forward. Have any of you guys been here before?
2018 was a year that brought on loss, betrayal and heartbreak. I had to deal with a lot of experiences and emotions that had previously been foreign to me. Some doors were closed in my face, and some I needed to close myself. SO many lessons were learned; But above all, I now see growth and resilience.Because, in the famous words of Kanye, "that that don't kill me, can only make me stronger". (yes, yes I did just use a yeezy reference LOL)
Through all of the hurt, I discovered so much about myself... my flaws, my gifts, my strengths and my weaknesses. Its moments like those, you have to look in the mirror and really examine what role you're playing in your own life. What decisions led you to where you are, what weight did you put in the hands of the wrong person, what mistakes/choices can you learn from and do better the next time. We can't be victims of circumstance; we ultimately have the power to choose to rise from the ashes. I'm a firm believer in being self-aware and being able to self-reflect and grow from there. The choice is ours!
I also discovered the proficient and unwavering love of God. Without his light, its easy to get lost in the darkness. And sometimes when we feel like captives in our own life, and we can't see the purpose in the season.. that is when faith steps in. For we know that what the enemy meant for evil, God will use for good. He ALWAYS has a purpose; we just have to open our hearts and minds to evolve and receive it. So when you're feeling lost in the dark or on your knees and broken, just remember.. His plans for us are good, He gives us hope and purpose.We can't earn it and we don't deserve it but His love never fails us and His grace is ALWAYS sufficient.
Now I can't completely discredit 2018, because even through the bad, there was a lot of great! I cultivated beautiful new friendships, checked off some bucket list experiences, traveled abroad and inner country, grew my business exponentially, strengthened family ties and had a lot of personal development.So although I stumbled and fell.. I also LIVED and thrived! & for that.. all of it.. I will forever be thankful! There is always goodness around you, just remember to search for the light!
So here's to using 2018 as a growing season in preparation for all of the blessings 2019 has in store!!!